My grandfather's death. He was the only grandfather I ever knew, my mom's father. My dad's dad I had only met once when I was an infant and then he was never to be seen or heard from again. My mom's father was a grandpa to me. He moved to Florida when I was a baby so I really only saw him twice a year and I was never really a phone person, but, who is as a child? He passed away only two years ago and it pains me to think that I never really had that relationship with him the way it should have been. I didn't feel as close to him as I should have. That is what leaves the biggest scar because I feel it means there is something wrong with me that his passing should have effected me more. I definitely was hurt when I heard of his passing that morning but I wasn't a mess. Was I supposed to be a mess?
Another scar, that bothers me deeply is the feeling of loss of the relationship with my parents. Mainly, my father but I feel the difference when speaking with my mother too. They always said if I moved out before I get married they would disown me as a daughter. I never would have thought that at the age of 22 they would actually not deviate quite to far from their statement when I was a child. They barely speak to me I get a hello and goodbye from my father and not much more from my mother besides coupons for food shopping. I will always feel love and greatly appreciative for the efforts they put in making me the person I am today. I would appreciate it more if I could feel prouder about the situation.
