The Places that Hurt

Home just hurts. Home is supposed to be where the heart is but today it is just where my puppy is. I thought as growing older it would be easier to leave home and care less about what people thought, by people I mean my family. This even of moving out and leaving my home or comfort place has been a lot harder on my then expected. I never thought that something that I anticipated to be such a great move for myself would hurt and depress me so much to where I feel as if I am not the same person. I used to be more relaxed and carefree and now I am so worried that the little things will affect every relationship in my life. My father hates me for leaving because it did not occur as planned. If I do not move back home now as he says, he states that "our relationship will never be the same, if we even have one at all", how can someone punish somebody else for doing what they feel is right? It just doesn't seem fair that one person can have such an effect on someone else. As I am intentionally reliving this event I feel like I will never get over it. I will always feel that I ruined my relationship with my family for me, for selfish reasons. But, isn't my life supposed to be about me? Why should I feel so shitty about something that is supposed to be so great? Home just hurts, hurts so much I dread visiting... It is just silence.