Fear

One thing in life that I fear greatly is the possibility that one day I might get lung cancer. Recently, I quit smoking by recently I mean it was my new years resolution. I always loved it, I always felt it was more of a thing I didn't want to give up, not that I couldn't. When I met my boyfriend in December whom hates smoking I decided that for him and my health I would try to quit smoking. I weaned off day by day and on New Years Eve I decided to ditch it completely and see what would happen. I succeeded in quitting completely which was very difficult but over time has been a great experience. I now can run longer and faster and my body feels better overall. The fear that one day I might get ill from this scares the shit out of me. I smoked for over 6 years and at least one pack a day. I am sure there are some effects of this left in my body, there must be scars on my lungs. What is even more scary to me is the thought that one day if I get really stressed or if my boyfriend and I break up, will I start again? I would hope that I am stronger then that. Fear sucks, I don't want to be a weak person and fear a thing such as death and illness at such a young age but if this fear is what is keeping my away from something that was once a vice that I loved then so be it. I QUIT!!!